I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Daisy Goes Bipolar Over Back To School

Do you want to know what I did today?  Of course you do.  Well, first, I checked my news feed on my phone about every 15 seconds to see when the Duchess of Cambridge had been safely delivered of her child.  I love that.  Safely delivered of a son.  Ha!  It makes it sound so...  sweet and peaceful.  I digress.  That was actually not ALL that I did today.  Are you ready for it?  You may want to sit down. 

I registered my baby girl--my BABY--for Kindergarten. 

I am talking about my little teeny tiny fairy nugget of a baby.  Peach is going to Kindergarten.  And I must admit, I am feeling a little bipolar about it. 

My thoughts today went something like this:

Out loud:  "Yay!  Peach!  Let's go get you registered for Kindergarten!"
Internal Dialogue:  "Wait.  Peach.  You are still a baby.  Silly Mommy, thinking you are ready for Kindergarten!"

Out Loud:  "Look at your new school!  This place looks like fun!"
Internal Dialogue:  "Ew.  How old is that playground equipment.  Looks like a death trap.  No way I'm leaving her here without my supervision."

Out Loud:  "Hi!  I'm here to register my daughter, Peach, for school!"
Internal Dialogue: "Ummm...hello?  I am about to trust you with my baby.  My youngest child.  And I'm really not sure how I feel about it.  So, if you would just give me a damn minute to fill out these papers and stop throwing information at me, that would be fab."

Out Loud:  "You are going to learn so many new things and make so many new friends, Peach!"
Internal Dialogue: "And I will be sitting at home all alone, without my little shopping buddy.  My little curly-haired sidekick.  Just get back in my belly, little baby girl!"

I guess it all just sort of snuck up on me.  I mean, I really enjoy my alone time.  All of the Goombas were in school last year, the boys full-day, and Peach in 1/2 day preschool.  I really enjoyed those 3 hours in the afternoon.  So, why am I being all weird about Kindergarten?  I guess it's because Peach is my baby.  When Mario went to school, it was so exciting and new!  When Luigi went to school, I knew he was so ready for the adventures that he was beginning!  With Peach, well...   I guess I just feel like we are closing a chapter in our lives. 

I am looking back over some of my old blogs and it really seems like only yesterday that I was losing my mind over peeled crayons and grapes squished on the floor.  Although we have been done with diapers for quite some time, I still had "little ones" at home.  Now, little sticky fingers that wanted to hold on tight to my hand walking across the street are turning into bigger hands that let go more and more often.  Scribbled coloring pages and drawings of happy stick figures with no necks are being replaced with written reports and fancy art projects. Mommy and Daddy are more often becoming Mom and Dad. 

This is natural, I know.  I am loving watching my Goombas grow and change and learn.  They amaze me every day. I am so excited to see them follow their paths and do all kinds of new things.  But, it's like...  You know when you are "in" something, and it kind of feels like it will never end, and you will always be stuck "there?"  Then, suddenly, one day you realize, you aren't "there" anymore.  Now you are "here" and you aren't really sure how you got there.  You know you muddled through, but you forget why you felt so stuck and how the days and hours seemed to just drag on sometimes.  And then you look at the beautiful beings that you have been teaching, nourishing, and loving and you think, "I am so blessed to have been there for all those moments... the really, really long ones, and the ones that flew by too quickly," and then it kinda takes your breath away for a minute. 

Of course, five minutes later, you are all getting into the van, and those "beautiful beings" are screaming at one another over who got their seatbelt on first and you think, "Oh dear, LORD, these kids need to get back to school, like, YESTERDAY!!!"

 Cheers and love to all!