I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

It's a Conspiracy!

Attention Moms:
I don't really know how to tell you this other than to just come right out and say it.  Someone out there is conspiring against us all.  A big someone.  A HUGE someone in fact, that has infiltrated all of our homes and our precious little children's minds.  Am I making you nervous?  Because, you should be.

Who do we turn to, oh so often, when we want to entertain our little ones?  Whose toys do we buy by the truckload for Christmases and birthdays?  Who do we depend on for good wholesome family fun?  Why, that would be none other than Mr. Disney himself.  Well, he is dead, so technically not "himself," more like his multi-gazillion dollar empire.  Cars, Princesses, Nemo, Toy Story, and of course good ol' Mickey and Minnie.  But, have you ever stepped back and really looked at the whole picture?  I'm guessing not, because if you had, you would have come to the same terrifying conclusion that I have...  Disney hates Moms.

No, really, he does.  He MUST!  How else could you explain the fact that all the moms in his movies are DEAD?  Think I am exaggerating?  Let's take a look...

Cinderella:  Mom and Dad both dead.  Evil stepmother is her guardian.  (Apparently Disney does not discriminate between mothers and stepmothers, so at least there's that.)

Belle:  Mom passed away.  Dad crazy.

Ariel:  Mom deceased.

Jasmine:  Guess who is dead?  Mom, that's who.

Snow White:  Again, Mom is bereft of life.  Enter evil stepmother.

Aurora:  Ok, she her mom is technically alive, but never gets to speak.

Lilo (from Lilo and Stitch):  Mom has expired, and so has dad.

Pocahontas:  Mom is resting in peace with the spirits.

Nemo:  His mom met a very untimely and ugly fate.  

Huey, Dewey, and Louie (Donald Duck's nephews):  They have an uncle, but I had NO idea he had a sister that had ducklings.  Oh, I guess she must have been someone's dinner.

Rapunzel:  Ok, I'll let this one go.  She does indeed have a living mother and father.  But, let's not forget the fact that she was kidnapped by an evil woman pretending to be her mother.

Tiana:  I think she is the only princess that has a loving and kind mother-figure.  Then again, they killed off her dad because having 2 living parents and no evil step-parents just doesn't really work in a good story.

I am cautioning you, Moms of the world.  Watch your back.  Disney is lurking around every corner waiting to off you and/or your husband.  Consider this your warning.


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