I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The things kids say....

We have all heard the saying before: "Kids say the darndest things!" And it is so true. I never realized just how true it was until my dear, little Goombas came along. Here are a few of my favorites...

-After listening to Bowser and I have a little tiff (where I dropped a few f-bombs), Mario, then 3 years old, said, "Hey, Mommy, can I please have my f-ing sandwich now?" So sweet and innocent and used in perfect context, too. My mouth dropped open and Bowser left the room.

~We were having a barbecue with some friends one night and Mario was busy playing and didn't want to go in to use the potty. Bowser said, "Well, you can just go out here in the yard." Mario promptly dropped his drawers and said, "Rocks or grass?" Apparently we wouldn't want to pee in the wrong place.

-Recently at the movie store, Luigi said, "Mommy, what doing here?" "We are getting a movie to watch tonight, honey." "I don't want movie, I want to go to liquor store!" "Ok, we will go when we are done here." Then, at the top of his lungs in the middle of the New Release section, "No, Mommy, I NEED to go to the liquor store!!!" Mommy does, too, little man. Mommy does, too.

~This afternoon, while Peach was watching Word World (her very favorite show), she asked me to sit with her. "In a minute, Peach," I said. "Mommy has to finish folding this basket of laundry." Tears welled up in her big, blue eyes and she said, "Dammit, Mommy! Sit!" Ummm...Ok, then.

~While eating Chinese food one night, Mario looked at us and said, "You know what is weird? These are so good, I can't figure out why they call them Crap-Cheese Wontons." Bowser almost rolled out of his chair from laughing so hard.

~A head's up...this one will only be funny if you have seen the Robot Insurance skit from SNL. One night at dinner, we were talking about nightmares and how they aren't real. Mario started to regale us with his scariest nightmare ever. "I was sitting at my friend's house, and we were playing the Wii, when all of a sudden, a ROBOT came bursting in with his claws chomping!!!" I really did not want to laugh at my darling son, because I know this dream truly scared him. But, in all honesty, as soon as he said it, all I could see in my head was the SNL robot breaking into the house with the old people and eating their prescription medication. "Because they're robots, and they're scary." Bowser and I have gotten hours of entertainment out of that one.

These are just a few of my favorites...there are so many more. Stay tuned! I'm sure as Luigi and Peach get older, there are going to be lots more laughs!


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