I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day!

To My Daddy,

I just wanted to take a minute, on this Father's Day, to tell you thanks so much for being my dad. I would like to get all mushy and gooey here, but we both know that neither one of us is really into that, so instead, I will give you a top 10 list of why I think you are the best.

So, in Random Order...
The Top 10 Things I love about my Daddy...

10. You didn't make fun of me (to my face) when I tried to use a toy cricket to lure a very real and very annoying cricket out of the corner of my room one very, very late night. You just did your duty, came downstairs with a can of bug spray, sprayed the sucker and said, "For the love of God, put the damn toy away and GO TO SLEEP!"

9. When I used to have friends spend the night, you would mash up Tootsie Rolls and put them in my baby brother's diapers and pretend to eat "poop." It grossed us out, but guess what...we LOVED it! Also, broccoli up the nose was always a close second for fun dinner time tricks.

8. When I was in college, I called you at work one day crying because I didn't have enough money in my bank account to go buy tampons. So, my hero Daddy, promptly deposited $20 for me, so that I could buy some feminine hygiene products, and a beer. Thanks, Dad!

7. When my beloved cat, Smudge, died while I was away on a high school journalism trip, my Dad sat me down to gently break the news. Then he drove me out to the spot where he buried him so that we could put a small marker on his grave. And he didn't even care that I cried like a baby the entire time. In fact, truth be told, I think he might have even squeezed a tear out as well.

6. Dad, you put up with a lot of crappy boyfriends that I brought home. I mean, A LOT of crappy boyfriends. Wow. You must have really loved me and wanted me to be happy to allow me to bring some of those guys over for dinner. Yeeeaaahhhh..... Ummm.... Sorry 'bout that.

5. Ok, I've been trying to put it off and not actually "go there," but I think we all know it needs to be said. Daddy, you instilled in me a great love and respect for the golden, bubbly beverage that we affectionately like to call the "Nectar of the Gods." I can remember the trailer in good, old West Virginia, taking sips of your Schaeffer on hot afternoons. Wait. That kinda makes us sound trashy, doesn't it? But, look at us now, all big and fancy, going to events like the Great American Beer Fest. Dad, there is no one in the world I would rather Beer Fest with than you.

4. When I left for college, you held out your hand for a firm handshake. I was so devastated. My Daddy didn't even want to hug me good-bye?? I reached out to give a weak handshake, and lo and behold---my Dad's hand was full of cash!!!! Woo hoo! The "handshake" became a tradition that lasted through my college years. Don't worry, there were hugs too.

3. Dad, you taught me how to love good music. Yes, I had my bad years--I thought your head would explode every time I asked you to play the New Kids On the Block cd. But, also, you taught me a very, very important lesson when it comes to listening to great songs... If anyone makes even the slightest "peep" while your song is playing, you must immediately go back to the song's beginning to listen to it in it's entirety without interruption. The Goombas have now learned this important lesson, although, I am still working on Bowser.

2. Do you remember the first time you met Bowser? I could practically hear your heart screaming, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" as the man that would eventually marry your daughter kept watering down his scotch. In the end, Bowser stopped watering his Dewar's down and asked for my hand in marriage. And since he agrees with your "ham sandwich" theory, you deemed him worthy.

1. At our wedding you gave the best Father-of-the-Bride toast EVER. We still talk about that toast. Even my friends still talk about that toast. And yes, I am very lucky to have married a man just like my Daddy in so many ways.

Dad, there are so many other things that I love, this is just a random sampling. You are a great Papa to the Goombas, you laughed at my "Have you been eating chicken lately" joke, and you have made it clear that I will always be your little girl.

Thanks for everything, Daddy. I love you! And now, I do believe, it is our favorite time of day... Beer:30!


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