The definition of the word "mother," according to Dictionary.com is:
noun : A female parent.
Wow. I gotta give you credit dictionary people... You somehow managed to sum up one of the most complex words in our language into three simple little words. A female parent. I guess, if we are going to be truly technical about it, they are correct. A mother is, indeed, a parent of the womanly persuasion. I, however, will beg to differ that a mother is so, so, so much more than that. So, if I were ever lucky enough to be employed by the brainiacs that write dictionaries, I would have to fight to change that definition. My definition of the word would look something more like this...
mother n. [muhth-er]
1. A woman, who once had a life to herself, that now shares every aspect of her being with little people that thrive on her love.
2. A woman who may have, at one time, been grossed out by snot, poop, vomit, and other body secretions, but that now wipes it up and wears it on her shirt on a daily basis.
3. A female who used to know what healthy eating meant, but now feeds the small beings that need her chicken nuggets 5 times a week because it is all they will eat.
4. A woman who had too much Keystone Ice one night and found herself staring at a pink line 2 weeks later, wondering how in the hell she was going to ever be able to do the job of raising a child.
5. A woman who shed tears from a place in her soul that she never knew existed the first time her child was placed in her arms.
6. A female who has given birth to, adopted, fostered, sheltered, clothed, fed, and/or LOVED a child.
7. A woman who gave up business meetings for butt-wiping, catered dinners for corn dogs, fancy clothes for stained Target t-shirts, and wouldn't change any of it for anything in the world.
8. A female who can listen to her child/children scream her name in every variation, at high decibel levels more than 3 million times a day, and still loves that the name Mother (Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Meme...) is hers.
9. A woman who hears the word "Mommy" yelled by a random child in public, and her heart skips a beat as she looks for her child, because even though she knows it wasn't hers, it is a knee-jerk reaction.
10. A person who once knew what was happening in the Middle East, and who was running for president, but now Tivo's Sesame Street so she doesn't miss Jake Gyllenhaal with an octopus on his head.
11. A woman whose heart aches when their child comes home crying from school because she just can't make everything better all the time, and that is a lesson she will never truly learn.
12. A woman who packed away all her expensive china and stemware so she could turn her dining room into a toy mecca for her children.
13. A female that now knows every last minute detail about Disney Cars or Disney Princesses, and finds herself spouting off this information at inappropriate times.
14. An adult girl who rejoices at the first day of school, because that means more of a break for her than summer break could ever actually be.
15. A woman who now receives more handmade gifts than Tiffany's gifts, and loves them more than she could ever love any old piece of jewelry.
16. A woman whose heart now beats outside of her own body, in the bodies of the little ones she lives for.
So, to you, my fellow mothers, whether you fit all or part of this definition...
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
May your day be filled with quiet, well-behaved children, a doting husband/partner/friend, all kinds of "calorie-free" foods and your favorite beachy cocktails (and by the way, it is ALL calorie free on Mom's Day!), no chores, and lots of hugs and kisses from the ones you love. You deserve it, Mama!
PS--Thanks to the greatest Mom on Earth! I love you Zaz!