I was totally hit with it out of the blue the other morning. I am officially THAT Mom. I didn't even realize I was doing it until Mario looked at me in pure embarrassment and disgust.
Allow me to set the scene for you. It happened in front of the school. We walked up to the doors and I gave Mario a hug before we went into the building. Wouldn't want to humiliate him by having his Mommy hug him inside where his friends are. When I leaned over to kiss him on the forehead, I noticed that he had a smidge of toothpaste on the side of his mouth. So, I did what any good mother would do. I licked my thumb and reached over to wipe it off. By the look of horror and distaste on his face you would have thought I covered a rag in acid and tried to actually wipe his face off of his body. He cringed away, put his hands over his face and said, "MOM! What are you DOING???"
I looked around, a little embarrassed myself, to make sure no one else witnessed the incident. I didn't even realize I was doing it! It was as though some crazy reflex overtook my body and forced me to do it. Before kids, I used to say that I would NEVER be one of those disgusting mothers that licked her kids face to clean it. What are we, animals? Apparently so, because now I am licking my kids and eating my words.
It's so funny isn't it, how many things we swear we will never do before we actually have kids? And then, when we have them, it all gets tossed out the window and we develop a severe case of amnesia that wipes all of those, "I will never" statements out of our minds.
Let's look at some examples from my own parenting experiences. Before children, Bowser and I were adamant that they would NEVER sleep in our bed with us. Our bed is for us. They have their own beds. Now, in the pursuit of precious sleep, it is not uncommon to wake up with a Goomba (or two, or three) tangled up with us under the covers. How or when they got there is usually a mystery to me, but there they are. And, if truth be told, snuggling with those little boogers in the sleepy early morning hours isn't actually so bad.
I also always said that I would NEVER use the television as a baby-sitter. Ummm... Yeah. Ok, then. See, the thing is, a mama just needs a shower once in a while! Who better to look after the Goombas while I do that than the latest episode of Dinosaur Train?
Or how about the "I will NEVER make separate meals for my kids, they eat what we eat" statement? You know what we had for dinner last night? Bowser and I ate tilapia, Luigi ate mac & cheese, Mario and Peach had corn dogs. Whatever. At least they all had full bellies, right? RIGHT???
There are so many of these little "I will nevers" that come back and slap me right in the face. But, really, what did I know back then? Apparently not much about parenting. Oh, Luigi and Peach have milk dribbling down their chins...time for some finger-licking, spit-cleaning, face-washing fun!