I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Monday, July 25, 2011


Every summer, my husband's family plans a big camping trip. The entire family gets together, heads up to the mountains and camps for a weekend. Sounds like fun, right? Oh, heck no! It's not that I don't love his family, because I really, really do. It's really more of a.... Well, a camping thing. I realize that I live in the most Outdoor Friendly State Ever, but here's the thing... Me and Nature, we don't like each other too much. In fact, my idea of camping is staying at a hotel with an outdoor pool and no room service. Cliche? Maybe. Totally true for me? Yes.

Bowser and his family have tried to convince me how much fun camping really can be. And, while they have pointed out some fabulous things about it, I have to say that my previous experiences with the Great Outdoors seems to outweigh whatever fun they may have in store. Allow me to present to you my arguments...

Point: We will be camping at a scenic lake in the middle of Rocky Mountain Country. Beautiful views all around and the peace and quiet of nature.
Counter Point: Beautiful views, yes. Also, bears and mountain lions, mosquitoes and ticks. All kinds of creatures that want nothing more than to eat me alive. Thanks, but no thanks.

Point: The Goombas love it! Fishing, running around, hiking, and more! They play so hard that they wear themselves out every day. It is good for their little bodies and souls.
Counter Point: Yes, great for the Goombas! Not great for Daisy. Fishing makes my stomach churn. I'm just not that into catching smelly, slimy things and skinning them for my dinner. Also, when I think "Outside," I think hot and sweaty. I do not like to be hot and sweaty. I like to be clean and pretty with my full face of makeup on. Last time I checked, our tent didn't come with a full bath and vanity. Yes, I am vain. We all have our flaws.

Point: Sitting around a campfire drinking beer and roasting marshmallows.
Counter Point: Ok, well, I really have no argument for this one because that does sound just plain awesome. I'd be happy to set that up in my own back yard.

Point: Sleeping out in a tent, under the stars is so peaceful and restful. The fresh air helps you get such a great night's sleep.
Counter Point: Have you ever seen a horror movie? Outdoors camping seems to be a prime location for bad guys and scary monsters. Sleeping with one eye open and jumping at every little sound does not sound like a great night's sleep to me. I'm just sayin'...

Ok, so I'm sure camping is not all that bad. Lots of people seem to really enjoy it! I am just not one of those people. Never have been, probably never will. I think while Bowser and the boys go this weekend, Peach and I will just "rough it" here, with take out food and some good old fashioned Disney movies. Maybe we will even get crazy and roast our on marshmallows on the grill.


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