As parents, we all like to get away sometimes. In fact, we don't just like to get away, sometimes we NEED to get away. It is essential to our well-being. It is also essential to our relationships. Sometimes it sneaks up on us and before we know it, we are desperate for a night out. So, in "You Might Be A Redneck" fashion, I am here to tell you how you might know it is time for a night away from your little Goombas.
You Might Need a Night Out....
...When you start referring to your spouse as Mommy or Daddy, instead of using their real name. Or even sweet little pet names, like Honey or Pookie Bear. When the Mommy and Daddy set in, it's time to get away.
...When chicken nuggets and generic mac n' cheese have become a gourmet meal for the kids AND YOU.
...When you look in your closet and see clothes that you remember wearing at some point in your life, but that are now collecting dust on the hanger. You know, like that cute mini skirt with the sparkly top and your platform heels. Or the jeans without the holes and stains and frayed ankles. Or the top that is on the border of being too low-cut and looks totally hot on you, but you can't wear it at home because the baby would look at it as an "all you can eat buffet" sign.
...When you realize the last 3 movies you saw at the theater were Shrek, Shrek 2, and Shrek 3. And of course, now you have to go see Shrek 4.
...When your idea of a great night has become having a beer on the couch, timing it just right so that you can watch Glee on the tivo and skip all the commercials, sitting under the blanket that vaguely smells like pee and rotten milk, wearing your old college t-shirt and falling asleep before the show is even over.
...When you think back on your past three weeks and realize the only places you have been are the pediatrician's office (4 times), the grocery store, and the park. With all of your Goombas tagging along. In the mini-van. With a baseball cap on to hide the mop of hair on your head and the bags under your eyes.
...When the highlight of your day is when Sesame Street comes on. For several reasons. First, it is 50 minutes of quiet time, where your kids are learning, but you don't have to be the one teaching. Second, it is darn funny for the grown-ups, too. Who doesn't love when Jake Gyllenhal has an octopus stuck on his head?
...When you find yourself with a red toilet ring impressed into your tush from sitting in the bathroom with the door locked, for longer than you need to, just so you can have 5 seconds of peace to read your magazine on child rearing.
So, fellow Moms, I hope that if you find yourself in any (or all) of these situations, that you will find some time in the near future to put on that sexy mini-skirt and get out to have some real grown-up food and watch a non-animated movie. It just might save your sanity!