I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Best Game EVER!

My family and I have a game that we play occasionally that is truly the best game ever. I can't quite remember exactly where it came from...but, I'm pretty sure that it happened one day after a trip to Costco. This game has brought our family hours, and I do mean HOURS, of entertainment. It's called The Toilet Paper Game.

The premise of the TP Game is simple. Bowser sits at the bottom of the stairs, while Mario and Luigi go to the half-way landing. Then they throw rolls of toilet paper up and down the stairs at each other. Ok. Now that I have written that out, it sounds a little ridiculous. But, really, don't knock it till you try it.

Here is how a typical game goes...

First, we decide to play the TP Game. At least 3 rolls are necessary for a really good game. And not those rolls you buy at the grocery store that come in a 6-pack. You need the Costco brand, where each roll is individually wrapped. The individual wrapping is especially important as you will quickly discover if you ever decide to bring the fun of the TP Game to your home. So, the Goombas run to the bathroom and grab 3-5 rolls and assume the position.

The game usually starts out with Bowser hitting one of them on the tush while they are crawling up the stairs. Hysterical laughing ensues and the TP starts flying. Bowser will throw several rolls up the stairs all at once while the Goombas try to catch them. Usually they don't actually catch them. Someone just gets hit in the head, then while they are laughing the other one gets hit in the head and they laugh even harder. Then they try to get Daddy by throwing them all at once. Peach has only recently joined in the fun. She crawls after the stray rolls and brings them back to Daddy, while he continues to pelt the boys with flying rolls of bathroom tissue.

Different rules have come up of the course of the past few years of TPG playing. First of all, if you hit a Koopa Troopa, you get extra points. Of course. Good thing KT 1 has learned to run and hide. KT 2 still thinks it is funny to try to play. She'll learn, though. Also, if you hit Mommy you get "double" extra points. I am usually a spectator of this fabulously creative sport, but when I have to walk through the playing field, it is on like Donkey Kong. (What the heck does that saying even mean???) I get hit by TP rolls coming from all directions. And they all think this is wildly funny. Then I try to throw them back and I miss everyone, because I throw like a girl, and that makes everything all the more amusing. There are "troll tolls," no-hitting-the-baby rules, no throwing during time-outs, roll exchanges when the wrapper starts to come off, and all kinds of other illogical, but totally necessary rules for play.

The game can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. Things usually come to an end when a) someone's laughter turns into tears (because we all know kids can go from crazed giggles to uncontrollable sobs in less than 2.5 seconds), b) Mommy ruins the fun and decides it's bedtime, or c) all the TP starts to unravel because the wrappers are thoroughly destroyed. **A side note--if you ever come over and find a ratty looking roll of shredded TP by the potty, fear not. It was just a part of the TP Game at one time or another.

So, the next time your family has some free time and the kids are complaining of boredom, just head to your bathroom and make yourself some good, old-fashioned, toilet paper fun. I promise you will all get a few giggles out of it.


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