I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cover Your Eyes!

This is going to sound a little strange, but I really have to get it off my chest. All of my Goombas have decided they want to be nudists and I have to admit, I am really sick of seeing naked little bodies!!!

I'm not sure when this phenomenon started. My closest guess would be about a year ago when Luigi decided he wanted to potty train. Shortly after that, during the summer, he and Mario came up with a new game, called "The Wiener Brothers." It mostly consisted of them chasing each other around shaking their parts at each other and yelling, "You can't get me Wiener Brother!" It wasn't long before Peach wanted to join in the fun, and although she lacks certain anatomical parts for the game, she would strip down before bath and crawl after her Brothers on their wild goose-chase.

In the bath tub, Luigi likes to lay down in the water and let the bubbles cover all of him except for...well, you know. Peach jumps up when I take off her diaper and runs around laughing like a maniac saying, "Naked Baby! Naked Baby!" Even Mario still likes to take it all off and parade around from time to time.

All of this is fine and good, even (dare I say?) funny and cute. Until recently. A couple of weeks ago, Peach thought she was ready for potty training. I was skeptical, seeing as how she is still fairly young, but did not want to discourage her, so we gave it a try. The thought of finally being a diaper-less family was pretty enticing as well. We got out the potty seat, bought pretty princess panties, talked about making peepee and poopy in the potty, etc.

Basically, this is how the next 48 hours went. Peach didn't want to wear a diaper at all, but also said her panties were "too tight." Thus we had naked baby tush all over the house. Luigi, thinking this was great fun, decided he needed to be re-potty-trained and took off his underpants as well. All of this resulted in me chasing around a toddler and a pre-schooler, cleaning up pee puddles, and catching the occasional "mystery rock" as it rolled across the floor. By the end of the 2nd day, I was not doing well in the patience department.

At one point Bowser came out of his office and, with a crazed look in my eyes, I screamed, "NO MORE PRIVATE PARTS!!! ABSOLUTELY NO MORE!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!" And then I ran upstairs in tears, gathering layers and layers of clothes to put on my birthday-suited Goombas. I couldn't even take part in bath time that night, so scarred from the day was I.

At this point in time, Peach is not potty trained. And I don't think I'm going to go there for a while. While baby bottoms are nice and all, I think for now, I am going to be content with underpants and diapers on those bottoms.


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