I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dear Santa

While helping the Goombas with their letters to Santa, I decided it would be a good idea for me to throw one in for myself. Just in case the Big Man wants to help out a Mommy who has been mostly nice (and maybe just a bit naughty).

Dear Santa,

Hi! I hope you are doing well. I know how crazy this time of year must be for you, what with getting toys to Goombas all over the world and all.

If it isn't too much trouble, I would like to throw in a couple of requests for myself. I've been a pretty good girl this year. Along with Peace on Earth and all the children of the world holding hands and singing, I would like...

~Total silence for 15 minutes of every day. I know this is a tough one, but really, Santa, you would be doing wonders for my sanity if you could make this happen.

~A never ending supply of Sunshine Wheat in the kegerator in the garage. This would be awesome. The gift that keeps on giving.

~Ummm...do those 8 maids-a-milking also clean houses? If you could spare one once a month, that would be fantastic.

~Not sure if you could swing this one, but if you could keep the Goombas from fighting with each other for an ENTIRE day, I would be forever in your debt.

~Do you have any connections with Father Time? Cause I would love it if you and he could work something out so we could get an extra hour each day. My scrapbooks are falling far behind and that extra hour could really help me get caught up.

~I really don't mind if you leave me a lump of coal. Preferably one that has been under intense heat and pressure for a very long time and is clear and sparkly. Set in a fabulous ring or necklace. I've been pretty naughty at times...better leave a BIG lump. I'm thinking, oh, I don't know...around 2 carats of lump would be perfect.

Pretty please? Thanks, Santa. You rock!

Remember to be nice to Mrs. Clause and come home at a reasonable hour so she doesn't have to wait up worrying about you all night. I'll be sure to leave some cookies and a beer for you. (Who are we kidding, we all know you could use one! Milk gets a little old after a while, doesn't it?) You and the reindeer be careful out there.


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